No Veda's backing !

Aparna Singh / TNN / Sep 25, 2004, 01:19 IST

Text Size

Small
Medium
Large

LUCKNOW: Contrary to popular believe that 'Kanyadaan' is a mandatory ritual without which a wedding ceremony is incomplete, the reality is that as per the Vedic rites the only compulsory custom or ritual for a 'sampoorna vivah' is 'saptasadi' or the 'saath pheras' around the holy fire.

<div class="section1"><div class="Normal">LUCKNOW: Contrary to popular believe that ''Kanyadaan'' is a mandatory ritual without which a wedding ceremony is incomplete, the reality is that as per the Vedic rites the only compulsory custom or ritual for a ''sampoorna vivah'' is ''saptasadi'' or the ''saath pheras'' around the holy fire. In fact in a landmark judgment, the Andhra Pradesh High Court''s Justice Ramesh Madhav in Shanti Devi vs Ram Lal Agarwal 1998 declared that as per the Hindu Marriage Act, observance of the ritual of ''Kanydaan'' is not compulsory. He reasoned that since the age of the boy is 21 and the girl is 18 they are legally acknowledged as adults. And as adults they have the right to make the decision and choose their life partner. In this case, the daughter argued that since she is an adult she has the right to choose her husband of her own choice. She is neither legally, religiously not societally bound to participate in the ''Kanyadaan'' ritual as she is not a ''vastu'' that can be gifted away. According to state project director, Mahila Samakhya, Manju Agarwal the problem stems from the fact that the practice of ''Kanyadaan'' is associated with a lot of other regressive beliefs. "How many times have we heard such pearls of wisdom like ''ladki ke ghar ka paani bhi na piyo'', ''jahan se doli wahin se arthi'' â€” no matter how many atrocities she bears at the hands of her in-laws, bin bihayi ladki bojh hai, ladki ki kamai khaoge to paap padega. Similarly, while ''hamare ghar ki bahu'' is easily accepted the term ''ghar jamai'' has numerous negative connotation. </div> </div><div class="section2"><div class="Normal">Aggarwal emphasised that ''Kanyadaan'' should not be considered ''just another ritual'' as once the girl is gifted away she is considered ''gone'' â€” all ties with her parental home severed. This is another reason why ''putra prapti'' or begetting sons and male preference is promoted as the parents expectations are a lot from him. There are no such expectations from the girl once she is married. She emphasised that the dichotomy is that financial help from her earnings is acceptable before marriage but once she is married any contribution made by the daughter to her family, is often believed, will take the girl''s parents straight to hell. She added that these are long held beliefs and distortions that exacerbate the problem of gender bias and prejudices and it will take some time before these concepts are changed for a more equitable society.</div> </div>

End of Article